"the item"

Early today I was asked by our boss to go and buy something for him. It so happens that the thing he wanted me to buy is the very same thing I was saving money to buy for my self. I was so excited because finally I can get my hands on one of the things on my wish list to buy. So I dropped by the office to get the money from my boss and hurriedly called up several stores to check for availability. The first shop I called said all the items on my checklist were available. So I told the person on the other line that I would drop by around 1pm to buy them. I grabbed my stuff and took the money and asked one of my officemates if he was not busy if he can accompany me. Without hesitation he said yes. I guess he was getting bored at the office. On our way to Quiapo we stopped somewhere near UST to park my car at my officemate's house. From there we went to UST to catch a jeepney to go to Quiapo. But first since we were there in UST we had lunch at Almer's. Feelings of nostalgia began to fill my mind but that's a completely different story. So after eating lunch we went straight tohidalgo. There we stopped by several shops to compare prices and get the cheapest. I was getting excited already; I now have the chance to try it out before I actually buy it for myself. After some poor haggling and amateurish attempts of trying to get some freebies we settled on the shop to buy "the item". I paid almost Php 200,000 for "the item". Wow I told myself, that's a lot of money spent in less than an hour. Wow... Turning to my companion i asked "did i just spent that much money?" he answered "no, that was the boss's money". Still it made me think, was it worth it? Maybe... maybe not... after settling the bill and filling up the necessary forms. We headed back to the office. I was still excited but I felt a little bit "nanghihinayang". When we got to the office our boss was in a meeting, so I wasn't able to give him "the item". So I waited and finally around 6 the meeting ended and he approached me and asked about "the item". So sprang up from my chair full of enthusiasm and zeal. We went to his office and I demoed "the item" to him. He even commented that I looked like a kid opening his present on Christmas day. After the demo, I was surprised he said "you take it home with you tonight and study it then explain it to me tomorrow, I hate manuals". Wow! Wow! Wow! Is it true? Hahaha. So rushed out of the office took all my stuff and "the item" and went home. A little while ago I was playing with it like a kid playing with his first G.I. Joe. Then suddenly I stopped, stared at "the item"... "Was it worth it?" though it wasn't my money, I felt guilty because I was the one who influenced my boss to buy "the item". Now I had a deep feeling of guilt. I was now sad and lonely. Thinking of the 200,000. I knew it could have been put to some other use that will bring happiness to one person. Now I came to reflect on what have I been saving up for? Is it this? Is it the 200,000 peso item? Well I came to think, is God telling me something? Does this have meaning? Yes! It made me realize that if I were the one who bought it for me I would be feeling worse. He made me experience first hand the feeling of using this one thing that I wanted so much. He made me feel what it is that made me want that thing. But most important He made me feel that it would not make me the happiest person in the world. It’s just temporary satisfaction, nothing more than superficial dreams. If you ask me now if I would still buy "the item" if I could? Would I?